18 December 2011

In regards to my last post

The following conversation has taken place(this was between me and Kitty btw and for all who are unsure my nickname is Bunny):

The Prince of Darkness: /mr livkd.
The Prince of Darkness licks.
The Prince of Darkness is now Away.
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
The Prince of Darkness is now Away.
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
Bunny: .....hey
The Prince of Darkness: Whats wrong with you?
Bunny: ...nothing....
The Prince of Darkness: Lets try that again without the lies.
The Prince of Darkness: Whats wrong with you?
Bunny: not a lie. an evasion
Bunny: and nothing important
The Prince of Darkness: Whatever.,
Bunny: just family shite again
The Prince of Darkness: What happened.
Bunny: just been nothing but yelled at so far. for shite that isn't my fault
Bunny: all i did was walk into the back to get a hair tie to put my hair up and my brother snapped at me and i told him don't be ugly and then my mum snapped at me for saying that
The Prince of Darkness: I see.
The Prince of Darkness: brb, dinner
Bunny: ok
Bunny: then i went to ask my brother if i could use the computer to print up more copies of my CV and got yelled at by both my mum and brother
The Prince of Darkness is now Away.
Bunny: and got made to feel useless and unwanted
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
The Prince of Darkness: Lovely.
Bunny: aye
The Prince of Darkness: Mm.
Bunny: well i'm going to mope around my room some and try and be productive so i guess i'll just leave you
The Prince of Darkness is now Offline.
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
The Prince of Darkness is now Away.
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
The Prince of Darkness is now Busy.
Bunny: http://aprilmarie4203.blogspot.com/2011/12/to-everyone.html
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
The Prince of Darkness: Well...
The Prince of Darkness: That was the most moronic piece of crap I ever read.
Bunny: that's your opinion
Bunny: and you are entitled to it
The Prince of Darkness: Its fact. First you say you're going to work on getting better and improving yourself and then you pull a stunt like that not a fortnight later?
The Prince of Darkness: You're smarter than that, and we both know it. You're just in a bad mood because your family got pissy at you and you aren't as far along in your plans as you want.
Bunny: no i'm not
Bunny: you fail to realise how well I am at faking emotion
Bunny: I can fake happiness the most
Bunny: and the easiest. working in a lot of customer service jobs has given me that skill
The Prince of Darkness: So what? You're not happy over there, I get that. Thats the whole reason you want to move over here.
The Prince of Darkness: You don't get along with your family, yeah, and that sucks. I'm sorry for that, and I'd make that better if I could. But I cant. All I can say and do is try to help you succeed in getting over here.
The Prince of Darkness: As for faking happiness, thats horseshit. I know you well enough to know when your unhappy and when you aren't. Yeah, your up and down a lot. So am I. So is everyone nowadays; it happens. If you let every little spat and setback throw you down you might as well call time on life.
The Prince of Darkness: You think I, and your friends, and yeah, your family, put up with you because we're good and kind? We don't; we do it because we care about you. And we care about you because, beneath all the tough girl exterior and self-dislike you are a lovely person.
The Prince of Darkness: And aye, your family are nasty sometimes. But we all are nasty to one another at times. I know I am. I know my ma can be, and my da, and everyone else I know.
Bunny: The only reason I still live here is because I haven't fully pissed off my mum yet. everyone else would love to see me gone
The Prince of Darkness: So you don't get along with your family. Yeah, so? I don't get along with mine a lot.
The Prince of Darkness: Thats still no excuse for just throwing your hands up and going "fuck it, I've had enough." If we all did, half of us would be dead. Me included.
Bunny: yeah but you still have a chance of ya know getting a good career
Bunny: I don't\
Bunny: I've royally fucked my life enough that I don't
The Prince of Darkness: Which is why a new one could be here.
The Prince of Darkness: You want to be happy, yes? Of course you do; everyone does. So stop making yourself your biggest roadblock; people over the sea DO want you living closer by, and if your family dont? Fuck em.
The Prince of Darkness: If we didn't, do you seriously think Em and Dave would offer you a place to stay? Or me- a cynical, narcisstic asshole- would admit I want you here to hang around with?
Bunny: you also want me over there so you can fuck me
The Prince of Darkness: And? If it happens, cool. If it doesn't, I'm not fussed. I've still got a gaming/drinking/talking buddy.
The Prince of Darkness: So stop thinking that, just because a few people may dislike you, that everyone dislikes you. They dont.
Bunny: too late
The Prince of Darkness: No. It isn't.
The Prince of Darkness: You are just saying it is.
The Prince of Darkness: If I hated you, I'd say it to your face. I don't sugarcoat things. And I know everyone else would not give you false hope. We aren't Californian. ^.-
Bunny: well suffice it to say shit happens and I'm tired of it all happening to me
The Prince of Darkness: So am I. And if I could magically make you appear in Britain with a job and a house, I would sacrifice a goat to Poseiden to do so. But I can't.
The Prince of Darkness: So what you need to do is work for it. Work until you feel ready to drop. And we'll pick you back up. And again, and again, and again.
The Prince of Darkness: Because there ARE people who want you to be happy. And since they want to meet/hang out with you, they want you closer by.
The Prince of Darkness: So if you want to be happy-and I know you do- you will get here eventually, whether to live with Em and Dave or someone else.
The Prince of Darkness: I know, because I know how stubborn you can be.
Bunny: yeah but I fall too many times. I'm constantly being picked up by others cause I can't manage to get my shite together to do it myself and I feel bad for it
Bunny: It shouldn't be everyone else's job to pick my arse up every time I fall
The Prince of Darkness: You pick mine up when I fall, sometimes. I return the favour. You do the same for others, they return the favour.
The Prince of Darkness: Thats how friends work.
The Prince of Darkness: And yeah, I know its tough. I've been there before; hell, I still am. I hate asking for help, and I want badly to be at my own house, away from my family, though for different reasons than you do.
The Prince of Darkness: Don't be afraid to ask for help, when we are plainly offering it.
Bunny: I am not accustomed to asking for help
The Prince of Darkness: Nor am I.
Bunny: I've done fine on my own
Bunny: and friendships don't always work that way
The Prince of Darkness: Yet in the same breath you say you fucked your life up majorly.
The Prince of Darkness: And most do. If we offer help, just take it. We aren't going to suddenly turn into demons and laugh madly at you because you brought about the apocalypse.
The Prince of Darkness: We want you over here. Simple as that.
Bunny: yeah well i have been burned badly by "friends"
The Prince of Darkness: We all have, at one point or another. I fell in love with a girl from Australia only to learn she was a male troll.
Bunny: Never done that one
The Prince of Darkness: I have. Its why I refuse flat out long distance now, on top of my trust issues.
The Prince of Darkness: Point is, we all get a shitty friend every now and then. It makes us appreciate the real ones more, and teaches us lessons.
The Prince of Darkness: And lets be honest;
The Prince of Darkness: If I was one of those kinds of friends, I could very easily have dropped your dox on 4chan and sent you on a fast car to Life Ruination.
Bunny: I do that well enough
The Prince of Darkness: So shed the old life, and start a new one. We all want you to. And you do as well. So whats stopping you?
Bunny: what isn't?
The Prince of Darkness: And the point still stands. None of us are those sorts of "friends."
The Prince of Darkness: Well we aren't stopping you. The government, slow fucks that they are, aren't stopping you. Your loan company isn't stopping you. Your family isn;t stoping you.
The Prince of Darkness: All you need is a passport, a visa, and your things, and you can live in the UK with Em and Dave or someone else.
Bunny: and money to do all that
Bunny: and a job over there
The Prince of Darkness: You can get benefits here while you look, and you'll be a lot happier than you will be over there.
Bunny: I don't want to do that though
Bunny: I want to have a job waiting for me
The Prince of Darkness: As for the money to do all that, its what? $100 for the passport and how much for the visa?
Bunny: I don't remember
Bunny: but more than I have at the moment
The Prince of Darkness: So do I. But if that doesn't happen, just look for one when you get here.
Bunny: then i'll be in the same situation over there that i am here just a change of scenery
The Prince of Darkness: You'll be amongst friends who care about you though. And away from California, your old life, and the people who never cared and held you back.
The Prince of Darkness: So wrong. You wont be in the same situation. You'll be in a different one.
Bunny: similar then
The Prince of Darkness: So? Its still better than the one you are in right now. Thats what matters.
The Prince of Darkness: I think, secretly, you are scared. And its misleading you.
Bunny: how is it better
The Prince of Darkness: Your family and history are a part of it yeah, but I think the bulk of it all is you are afraid of moving here and ending up with people who dislike you whent hat clearly is not the case.
The Prince of Darkness: And I already told you; away from Cali, away from the people who held you back, away from unsupportive family members...
The Prince of Darkness: Instead you can-and will-have friends who will help you here.
Bunny: yes. friends who have about the same situation as me financially that if I wind up needing to live with them will be more of a burden than anything
The Prince of Darkness: I doubt Em and Dave would offer you if they thought you would be that much a pain in the ass.
The Prince of Darkness: All you are doing is just proving more and more that you don't have any argumentitive ground to stand on; just your own insecurities when we are doing nothing to inflame them. We DO want you here, and we DO want you to be happy, so stop fucking pushing us away and thinking you are a burden when we do not consider you one.
Bunny: can't help it. its in my nature
The Prince of Darkness: I know it is.
The Prince of Darkness: And its incredibly frustrating.
The Prince of Darkness: But at the same time, I don't care, because I know its not the real you.
Bunny: its part of me
The Prince of Darkness: Its a small part of you. The rest of you is fine.
Bunny: no it isn't
Bunny: its just as fucked up
The Prince of Darkness: If it was, do you think I'd be sitting here trying to say otherwise?
The Prince of Darkness: Yeah, you have issues. So do we all. Its part of being human.
Bunny: no offense but you only know me online
The Prince of Darkness is now Offline.
The Prince of Darkness is now Online.
The Prince of Darkness: Sorry...
The Prince of Darkness: But yeah, thats my schpeel done.
Bunny: i'm just hopeless and useless
The Prince of Darkness: If I believed that, or if anyone else believed that, we wouldn't care about you as we do.
The Prince of Darkness: We'll keep picking you up, girlie. Just like you'll pick us up if we fall.
Bunny: i don't see any redeeming qualities about myself
The Prince of Darkness: I do. You have a lovely smile, a great attitude-sarcastic, with a dark streak of humour and a nerdy mentality- and you're just pretty cool in general.
Bunny: yeah and real far they've gotten me in life so far
The Prince of Darkness: Hon if you are holding out for universal popularity you are gonna be in for a long wait. You have a group of friends in the UK who want you over here with us. So come here with is, and don't let Cali hold you back.
The Prince of Darkness: Start anew over here.
The Prince of Darkness: We want you to, and you want to. So do it. Work towards it. And just accept the fact that not everyone is a Californian douche. ^.-
Bunny: hard to accept that when that's all you know
The Prince of Darkness: Then come here, and learn different.
Bunny: yeah we see how well that one is working with me
The Prince of Darkness: Because you aint over here yet.
The Prince of Darkness: Em and Dave do, or they wouldn't offer. Chris does. I do...
The Prince of Darkness: And even your friends in America want you to go over the sea to e happy.
Bunny: some of them
Bunny: some don't care
The Prince of Darkness: Again, if you are holding out for universal popularity it wont happen.
Bunny: and some don't want me to go
The Prince of Darkness: Some don't want you to go because they like you there. We want you here because you will be happier here. Something you've said yourself.
The Prince of Darkness: As for the ones who don't care, to hell with them, they can die.
Bunny: speculation
The Prince of Darkness: So please, Bunny. Stop making yourself out to be our worst enemy, when everyone does not see you that way.
Bunny: I do though
The Prince of Darkness: Tough. We don't.
The Prince of Darkness: So just, for once, accept someone LIKES you.
Bunny: hard to accept when I am as disliked as I am
The Prince of Darkness: Not everyone dislikes you.
The Prince of Darkness: And those who do aren't worth a shit.
Bunny: and unfortunately surround me
The Prince of Darkness: Then get away from them.
Bunny: kind of hard to when I live with some of them
The Prince of Darkness: It doesn't change my answer. Every time they try to pull you down, remember people over here love you and let it pull you back up.
Bunny: its not always enough
The Prince of Darkness: I know. And if I could change that, I would.
The Prince of Darkness: But all I can do is attempt to make you feel better, like I am trying now. Because you haven't even argued with most of what I've said, and have instead nitpicked.
Bunny: not up for arguing
The Prince of Darkness: So that tells me you are in a bad place. All I want to do is see you happy. If I can cheer you up even a little, it makes it worth it.
The Prince of Darkness: http://tinypic.com/r/2hci3it/5
Bunny: you look all emo and sad
The Prince of Darkness: I can't smile for pictures. It looks odd.
The Prince of Darkness: But for you, I will. Just this once. =3
Bunny: you have a nice smile.....you really put yourself down with it
The Prince of Darkness: So do you.
The Prince of Darkness: Guess its just our thing. =p
Bunny: i'm not at all attractive
Bunny: I don't lie to myself to try and make myself feel better
The Prince of Darkness: No. You lie to yourself and feel worse.
The Prince of Darkness: I find you attractive. Nate does. Em does.
Bunny: you all just have low standards
The Prince of Darkness: Then by that right, so do you. I'm not attractive.
Bunny: yes you are
The Prince of Darkness: Then so are you.
Bunny: not
The Prince of Darkness: Are.
Bunny: not
The Prince of Darkness: Are.
The Prince of Darkness: But anyways...
Bunny: not
The Prince of Darkness: I dunno if this longass chat has helped you. I hope it has; I want you to be happy, and I hate seeing you upset.
The Prince of Darkness: I need to head off for a bit and get ready for work tommorow, and grab a shower.
The Prince of Darkness: I'll be back later on.
Bunny: alright
The Prince of Darkness kisses you.
The Prince of Darkness: But please. No more being so horribly down. I want my bunnybutt to smile.
Bunny blushes and kisses you back
The Prince of Darkness: Dry your eyes, my pet, and I'll return.
The Prince of Darkness: Be back soon.
Bunny: alright
The Prince of Darkness is now Offline.

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