Today's a bad day.

Today's a bad day. 

Cute boy from yesterday hasn't called or texted yet(I was kind of in a rush yesterday so no time to get his number or I would have texted/called by now)

Been half crying/half not crying all day today so far.

Though some of that has had to do with the conversation I was having with ginger. No, he wasn't making me angry or anything we just wound up on the topic of he-who-must-not-be-named(and no I'm not talking about voldemort talking about one of my exes). And anytime I get on the topic of him or really any part of my past I have to fight myself not to cry(because I refuse to cry in public or around people that I'm not comfortable with)and today the tears just won't fully come.Maybe I fight it too much.

Depression hit big time today. I was suppose to go over and hang out with adaftpunk and her dad this weekend. Woke up this morning didn't feel like doing anything. Mum left a note asking me to do dishes so I did those. Apart from that and going to the bathroom the farthest I've gotten out of bed is laying on my floor.

Don't mind me. I'm going to curl up and cry/go back to bed. Maybe eventually eat.

Though eating isn't good because it means I'll gain weight and be even more overweight/fat and be even more undesirable and continue to guarantee that I'll be single longer. Well that added into my anxiety and depression and aversion to people and introvert and just generally repelling people. Especially if I am attracted to them.

Still don't have a job.

Fuck.

I need a new life.