.....

I have determined that since I can’t even live up to my own expectations that I should face facts that I will never be enough for anyone else. I am basically shutting down flirting wise at least and going invisible. And kind of giving into my depression. Might as well. I will be sporadically here and there but unless you have my number good luck getting ahold of me. Unless it is through gaming. 
Also, part of the invisibility comes from constantly being told I am pretty but then people meeting my friends and all of a sudden I don’t exist because they are apparently more attractive/interesting than me.*sighs*

ferleira replied to your post: I have determined that since I cant even live up…

You just describe my life.Dont worry, im sure it will be better.Im here if you wanna talk. ;)

Everyone says just about all of this. 

“Don’t worry”

“I’m sure it will be better”

“I’m here if you wanna talk”

I’ve learned those 3 phrases mean jack shit. I’ve spend off and on the past 4 hours talking to one of my best friends. And SHE can’t even get through this. She’s known me for 7 years. You’d think she’d be able to. She can’t. One of my other ones I think has just given up on me cause the last thing he and I texted was (him)Okay as you wish I’m not going to stop you (and that was in response to my telling him I was shutting down from flirting) and my response back was I sure as hell hope not. There are other reasons, some of which you and meg probably should be aware of but…. and that was at 1947. 

The only way my life has gotten better in the past 5 years is 3 or 4 years I met the guy I just referred to above and he in culmination with meg and a few other of my haunt family got me out of a really terrible and abusive relationship that lasted til Christmas of 2011. And that was my last try at NOT being impulsive and running/jumping headfirst into things. Apart from that, my life has been slowly going from decent to bad to terrible.