Hi,
Blow Pop here. But you probably already knew that. I'm going to preface this letter by saying we're ALL wrong in this drama and arguing. I'm wrong. You guys are wrong. We all have equal parts in this wrongness.
My post may have come off as brash and bitchy. I'm just being honest and truthful. And more importantly, myself. You want to call me boring and bitchy? Fine that's on you. I don't care. However there are a few things I do care about.
1) joking about rape. Maybe 2 of you know this but I know the majority of you don't. I've been raped before. Not just once. But 3 times. By 3 different men. And almost a 4th time. Until someone else intervened for me. RAPE IS NOT FUNNY. So you guys starting out this month joking about us all getting raped by one or two of you was really not funny and the first time I read that, I froze. I had to turn off my computer and go do something else once the initial shock wore off. I know you all seem to think it's funny. But really. It's not. And no, I don't have a stick up my butt because of it. I honestly don't find it funny. Nor did I before any of them happened.
2) Saying that if someone yells "Surprise!" to just take it. This refers back to my first point. And ties into my next point.
3) Saying someone is "no fun" or "shouldn't be working haunt" just because they don't like being touched. Both me and one of the guys have been told this. Because neither of us really like being touched. I'm fine if it's crowded and people run into me or what not. Or someone's not paying attention and accidentally runs into me/hits me. That's one thing. But coming up and randomly biting me or grabbing my ass...that's another thing. There are few people who have this privilege with me. Most of you are not in that circle of people who can without being punched in the face.
4) Telling someone who has a disorder that you may have that they are just using that as an excuse means you're being an asshole. Not everyone can deal with things the same way. Not every disorder manifests itself the same way. I know people with asthma more severe than mine that CAN smoke or can be around smokers and have smoke blowing in their face without having an asthma attack. Does that make them special? No. It means it manifests differently in them. I KNOW my triggers for my asthma and MOST of them won't exist in the maze. I've been working 3 years now for haunt(this being my 3rd). If I could work my social anxiety into scaring people, I would have figured it out by now. At the moment I can only work my anger into it. I'm not hiding behind it as an excuse for not being able to do something.
5) Just because I said I don't like most of you does NOT mean I'm not going to be putting my all into scaring people. I will. I will work with the girl in my room because I want people scared. I'll set her up for scares. I'll let her have scares and not take them from her. I'll make sure to scare people forward because I don't want them going backwards and making our line stop. You insult me when you take "I don't like most of you" and twist it into "I'm not going to work hard". I've hated my last two mazes people wise. Yeah there's been a few people here and there that I like. Mostly though, I hate my maze.
6) Telling someone to take meds is NOT funny. It's hurtful. And all you're doing is creating hostility. In fact most of these points are all creating hostility.
7) Telling me that I should have stayed somewhere that I couldn't deal with is hurtful. You have no idea why I didn't. I felt panicked in there. Had I stayed, I would have had panic attacks every night. They would have culminated not only in asthma attacks (which suck coupled with panic attacks) but in me having a mental breakdown in the middle of the haunt season whilst working. Brooke suggested that I might work better elsewhere in the maze. I thought about it and agreed. Which is why I got switched. Because I realised all of that. Keeping me in that position would have made me miserable and made the maze crap. I'm in a better position for me in which that won't happen.
8) Telling me that I'll have to have others watch over my asthma is highly insulting to me. I KNOW how to deal with my asthma. In fact, I HAVE dealt with it for the past few years just fine on my own. The ONLY time I need help is when it gets bad enough that I can barely walk and am asking a TC/TCC to call first aid.
9) And calling someone lame for having boundaries like people touching them is completely fucked up.
Thanks for being bullies guys. You make this maze seem like so much fun and clique-y. I went through high school once. I don't need to do it again.
Because really. That's what you're doing. My initial post was really more to say "I'm here to work, NOT be your best friend". Also, I CAN judge people I don't know and I will if it suits me. Don't tell me what I can or can't do. You're not the boss of me and I'll do what I damn well please in regards to the rules we ALL have to follow. Yeah. I worded a LOT of that wrong. But YOU guys started blowing it out of proportion. It's not YOUR duty to tell someone they do or don't belong at haunt.
Also, stop using the word "retarded" when referencing people. There are plenty of other words that you could have used.
I DON'T look forward to working with any of you. Based off of what I've seen posted in the group is what I judge most of you on. If you're going to make rape jokes and tell people that they're not fun because they don't let just anyone do anything to them, YOU are the problem. NOT them. And based off of the fact that y'all seem to be fine with the rape jokes makes me not want to ever get to know you.
Fuck you.
Kind regards,
Blow Pop
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